Connected

 In my cold, uninviting basement, as my legs took me nowhere, spinning like a hamster on a wheel, my mind went to deep places only found by listening to that still small voice. Perhaps it’s the exercise induced euphoria that keeps me lacing up my running shoes day after day like a junkie looking for the next fix. Perhaps it’s the broken sleep schedule I’ve kept this week due to Andy working into the wee hours of the morning.  Perhaps it’s the semi-state of panic that grips people before a big storm as though the end is truly near.  Perhaps it’s the conversation with friends about death. Perhaps it’s the uptick in politically motivated Facebook posts lately.

 Perhaps it’s my own consciousness of how closely each of us is linked to one another. Within a six-week time frame our small, relatively safe community endured two police action shootings. Besides being the wife of an officer, I realized I was connected to every one of the people involved in some way.  I went to school with one of the officers who had to make a split second decision, with one victim and with one perpetrator. The cousin of the other perpetrator is a close friend and school mate as well.  The wife of the other officer who had to make a split second decision was a nurse at the hospital when my boys were born. She was one of the first people to hold my babies in her arms. Her father used to babysit Andy when he was a boy.  Connected indeed. 

As all these thoughts were swirling in my head to the steady beat of my feet and the music in my ears, a striking visual came to my mind.  As Back in Black blared in the background, I suddenly saw Jesus walking down the hall of a school, down a dark alley, into a rough roadhouse bar with this song, written by Aussie party boys, as his anthem. He was not the Jesus pictured knocking on a door or holding children in his lap.  He was dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket with his long hair flowing behind him, a look of confidence and compassion on his bearded face. He was in all these places filled with brokenness.

As this image left my mind I was reminded that we are all broken and in need of a savior. I was reminded that no matter what choices we’ve made, we are all offered forgiveness.  All we need to do is ask. I was also reminded that our job in this world is to help one another. Period. Our willingness to go out into the dark to bring in the light must not be deterred by the things that divide us.  We are connected by our Creator. We are connected by our community. We are connected by compassion. How will you connect today?

What Must Be Done is Best Done Cheerfully

     A new year, with a blank slate of white calendar pages, lends itself to resolutions and goals for the coming year.  It's a great time to ponder what we'd like to repeat in the last twelve months and what we'd like to change.  Of course, many things are beyond our control and we must do our best with our circumstances.  But we do have control over many things in our lives. Over my next several posts I'm going to share some ways that I have streamlined my life so that I have more time for the things that really matter.  These streamlined routines are also teaching and growing tools for my children.

 
     I am a firm believer that our physical surroundings influence us in so many ways. They contribute to our moods, our focus, and our level of motivation.  As someone who spends a great deal of time in my home, I can not abide by a cluttered or dirty environment.  I don't mean living in a sparkling home straight off the cover of Better Homes and Gardens.  What I mean is that my home needs to have a semblance of order. Things need to have a place so we can find them when we need them.  Grimy bathrooms and kitchens gross me out.  In my former blog I wrote about how having a regular cleaning person is not just a luxury for the affluent.  You can read about that here.  Since we are still a one income family we are still doing our own cleaning, but the changes we've made have afforded my children growth and skills, and have allowed me to delegate some of my household activities.

     A new school year begets time for contemplation in the same way that a new calendar year does.  Last summer, as I reflected on our previous school year, I sought out ways to ease the responsibility of caring for our home.  I considered ways in which I could involve my boys.  At the time they were approaching their big double digit birthday. At almost ten years old, I determined they were ready and capable to help out more.

     Several factors helped me make concrete goals for the boys. I thought about the things around our home that had been getting the most neglected.  Then I thought about my boys' ability to focus, their attention spans, jobs they don't mind doing and just as importantly, my own expectations of what I would find acceptable.  I also decided that we needed a schedule so that these jobs would become just as much a part of our weekly routine as having school Monday thru Friday and going to church on Sunday. 

     Having a schedule is actually very freeing to me mentally.  In the past, when I didn't have a plan in place for certain jobs to get done, I had a constant looming feeling of needing to do more.  NOW.  It was exhausting.  If you don't get that, it's ok.  But if you have a personality that lends itself to type A, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  I can relax more now knowing that even though the floor is dirty today we have a plan in place to remedy that very soon.

     The answers to the questions helped me create a schedule that fits for our family for this season of our lives.  I'm sure that it will change in the future, but this is what is working for us right now.  Some of these things on this schedule were jobs the boys were already doing.  They have been doing all their own laundry since they were eight years old.  I'll share details of that in a forthcoming post.  I just love the quote from Laura Ingalls Wilder that says, "What must be done is best done cheerfully. " I inscribed it on the top of our schedule as a reminder to keep our attitudes on the sunny side.

     The biggest thing we added, that has dramatically relieved the burden from me, is that the boys are in charge of all the dusting, dust mopping and wet mopping. I chose to give them these jobs for several reasons.  One is that they enjoy using the dust mop and the wet mop.  Dusting and mopping were things that had a tendency to slip through the cracks in the busyness of life.  These are jobs that I can be more forgiving about.  I chose not to give jobs that require more attention to detail such as the bathrooms or the kitchen.  I wanted to enable them to learn how to do a job well, without having to do a flawless job.  I wanted the job to by done them.  Not done by them and then redone by me.  That's just a recipe for frustration on both sides.  They need to feel that they are competent so I gave them jobs that are within their abilities.

     I also took the time to instruct the boys in how the jobs need to be done.  I didn't just expect them to know what to do.  In my next post I'll share with you a tool I created to keep them focused and on task. It's super easy to customize for your own use.  This tool has changed the way household chores are accomplished in our home.  If you are looking for ways to streamline your life while teaching your children life skills and responsibilities you'll want to check back in soon!